


Vocations

by lesboek



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Closeted Character, Family Drama, Love Confessions, M/M, Priests, Religion, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-26 16:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6247771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesboek/pseuds/lesboek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi is about to confess to Sugawara. His world crashes as Sugawara announces he wants to be a priest. It crashes again when he finds out Suga's secret. As the gap between them closes once again, Daichi finds himself asking what he can do to make the boy love him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kuroo/Kenma in later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. confessions

Daichi ran his finger along the envelope is his pocket. He sighed. What was he doing? Was he some kind of kid, trying to confess his love to Suga with a cheesy love letter. For a moment he reconsidered the whole idea. Who cares if they graduated in a week? This was just plain stupid. He took a deep breath as he mustered his courage. No, he wasn’t going to back out this time.  
  
He walked up to Sugawara, who was talking with the rest of the team in the gymnasium. He had to get him alone first. He walked around the group of talking people until he was next to Suga. He moved into the crowd. “Hi everyone. Hey, Suga, can you-” Suga interrupted him. “Daichi! Good, you’re here too!” Daichi was taken by surprise, Suga never interrupted him like this. He didn’t bother to make a point out of it.  
  
Sugawara continued. “I want to tell you something. As you know graduation is in a week.” He raised his arms, gesturing towards Daichi with one hand, to Asahi with the other. “Daichi and Asahi are going to a college in Tokyo. I will be leaving for Tokyo as well. Yesterday, I was admitted to seminary.” He paused, looked around and smiled. A warm genuine smile that did no effort to hide his excitement. “I’m going to be a priest!” He exclaimed.  
  
Daich felt his heart shatter. A priest? He knew Suga was catholic, but since he never really talked about it he thought he did not take it too serious. Sugawara looked around, taking in the reactions of the team. Tsukishima clicked with his tongue, Asahi smiled and nodded. Most of them looked astonished. His gaze moved closer and closer to Daichi, who felt like a deer caught in headlights. Sugawara now looked at Daichi. Daichi tried to fake a smile, he couldn’t even convince himself it was genuine. Suga was going to see right through the facade. Salvation came from Nishinoya.  
  
“I didn’t knew you were a pedophile!” Nishinoya said. He grabbed Hinata by his shoulders and pushed him forward. “You must’ve been ogling this kid for so long, right? Right?”  
  
Sugawara laughed awkwardly, grabbing his wrist behind his back.  
  
“Nishinoya!” Daichi exlaimed. “Not funny!”  
  
Nishinoya took a step back. “Okay, okay, jeez.”  
  
Tanaka said, “So, Suga-san. Does that mean that you, you know, can’t, like, have a girl. Ever?”  
  
Sugwara smiled. “Yes, Tanaka, priests are celibate. They don’t marry.”  
  
Hinata opened his mouth, ready to speak, no shout, a question at Sugawara. Asahi intervened. “We are very happy for you, Sugawara.” The whole team agreed.  
  
“I’m happy for you, Suga.” Daichi said, forcing a smile once again. He wasn’t sure if he was really happy for Suga or not. The letter in his pocket seemed to be made out of lead.  
  
“Thanks Daichi, that means a lot to me.” Sugawara said.  
  
A teacher walked into the gymnasium. “Hey volleyball club! Get out, we’re closing up.”  
  
The whole team obeyed, strolling out the gymnasium. Everyone was firing questions at Sugawara. Suga’s patience seemed to be inexhaustible as he answered all the questions. Daichi was surprised he could answer them so calm, most were related to sex, or the lack thereof. Suga didn’t seem to mind, he was smiling like a madman, a proud twinkle in his eyes.  
  
Daichi told them he had somewhere to go and left the others.  
  
He fumbled the letter and threw it in a bin. He hit the wall with his fist. Why did this have to happen to him? It just wasn’t fair. He liked Suga for how many years now? And he was leaving. If only he confessed to him earlier, then he wouldn’t had this stupid idea of becoming a priest. A priest! Who becomes a priest nowadays?  
  
“Are you okay?” Asahi stood behind him.  
  
“Hmm.” Daichi mumbled. He wanted to be left alone, couldn’t Asahi see that? He stared at the bin, the fumbled letter on top of the garbage. It’s garbage now as well, he thought.  
  
“You don’t look okay.”  
  
“I am.”  
  
“You’re not.”  
  
Daichi turned around and looked at Asahi. He knew he had to tell him something. “I was just surprised. I didn’t know he was so serious about this religion stuff. He never told me anything about it.”  
  
“I know.” Asahi said. “He talked a lot with me about it though. You’re not so open-minded about his religion, so he’s a bit uncomfortable talking about it with you. When he does, you always joke about it.”  
  
Silence. Was he really that bad? If he had been more open, could he have talked Suga out of it, could he have made Suga love him?  
  
Asahi continued. “He thought about it for a long time you know. We’ve been talking about it for the last year.”  
  
“A year?” Daichi exclaimed. “He’s been keeping this from me for a year?” He couldn’t believe his ears. His best friend kept a secret like this from him for a whole year. Maybe he wasn’t the friend he thought he was.  
  
Asahi sighed and leaned against the wall. “If he talked to you about it, the first thing you would’ve done is try and change his mind. Even if he wasn’t sure about it yet.”  
  
Daichi leaned against the wall as well, staring at the ground. He knew Asahi was right.  
  
Asahi put a hand on Daichi’s shoulder. “This wasn’t an easy decision for him.” He said. “Never getting married. Not having a career. It’s not an easy road he is going to take. But we have to support him, okay?”  
  
Daichi nodded. He didn’t feel like talking anymore, but spoke anyway. He didn’t want to support Suga, not like this. Maybe he was selfish, but Suga would be better of with him. “I don’t like it when he keeps thing like this from me. Important things.”  
  
Asahi looked up. “Suga didn’t like it either. But there are some things he needed to talk about but couldn’t tell you. It’s not like he hates you.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“On a bright note.” Asahi’s voice rose in enthusiasm. “I got the key’s to our apartment. We’re officially roomies now.”  
  
Daichi smiled. Highschool was over, he told himself, a new life in Tokyo awaited him. He mad up his mind, he would forget all about Suga. Out of sight, out of mind. It was going to be hard, but he’d manage it. He’d find someone else.  
  
***  
  
  
“Ugh, I hate accounting. Four hours straight, who gives an accounting lecture for four hours!” Daichi loudly complained and threw his bag in a corner.  
  
Asahi sat on the couch, reading a textbook and making notes. “You should’ve thought about that before you decided to study economics.”  
  
Daichi seated himself besides him, spread his arms over the back of the couch and threw his head back. “Yeah, yeah.” Asahi looked at him amused. “So, you’re going to flunk accounting?”  
  
“No, I haven’t flunked anything this semester, and I don’t plan on starting with accounting. How are your grades holding up?”  
  
“I flunked English.” Asahi said with a smile.  
  
“No surprise.”  
  
Asahi put his book an notebook on the table. “You want some coffe?” Daichi nodded. Asahi stood up and made his way to the kitchen. “I can’t believe our first semester is almost over.” Asahi said while he poured water in the coffee machine.  
  
“Yeah,” Daichi said, “you’re a better roommate than expected.” They both laughed. The sound of the coffee machine filled the room.  
  
Daichi watched Asahi grab a couple of mugs. He placed them next to the coffee machine and turned around. “Speaking of being good roommates.” Asahi said. “I heard you are being a bad friend.”  
  
Daichi gave him a questioning look. “Am I?”  
  
Asahi poured coffee into the mugs and brought them to the living room. “Yes, you are. Suga said you haven’t called him since you graduated high school. Not even a text.” He handed Daichi a mug and sat back on the couch. Daichi took the mug and looked at him with slight amazement. “You talked to Suga?”  
  
“Yes, why haven’t you?”  
  
Daichi shrugged. “He left to be a priest. I figured he wanted to be left alone.”  
  
“He wants to be a priest, Daichi, not a hermit. That’s a bad excuse.”  
  
Daichi shrugged again. He really didn’t want to talk about it. Asahi wouldn’t let it go and probed further. “You are such good friends, you saw each other every day. What happened?”  
  
Daichi sighed. “I just don’t like the idea of him becoming a priest.” He rinsed his mouth with coffee after he spoke.  
  
“You ignored him for half a year, because you don’t agree with his career choice? Or is it his religion that get’s to you?” Asahi turned his body towards Daichi. “Both reasons are not good enough to throw away years of friendship.”  
  
Daichi leaned back. Fine, he thought, I will have the talk with Asahi. “No.” He took a sip from his coffee. “It hurts me that he wants to become a priest.” He took a deep breath and looked at Asahi. “I love him.”  
  
There was silence. Daichi tried to decode the expression on Asahi’s face, but is was gentle as ever. Asahi put his mug on the table. “Love as in,” Asahi paused, “gay?”  
  
Daichi stared at his mug, wrapped both hands around it and pulled it closer to his body. “Yes.” He said. Suddenly he felt vulnerable. He regretted the impulse, some things should have been left unsaid.  
  
Silence.  
  
“How long?”  
  
“Since the second year of high school.”  
  
“So when he told you he was going to be a priest…”  
  
“It broke my heart. He basically told me I didn’t stand a chance, he rejected me without even knowing it. Do you know how hard it is to be around someone who rejected you?”  
  
Asahi nodded. “Yes. Yes I do.” There was a short silence. Daichi pondered if he should ask about it, who was the girl that rejected Asahi? He didn’t get the chance as Asahi continued. “You should still call him. He is worried about you. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”  
  
Daichi sighed. “Fine, I will call him tomorrow.” He glanced at Asahi. Asahi was tapping away on his phone. He shoved the phone at Daichi’s chest, it displayed a picture of Sugawara. It was calling. “Now.” Asahi said.  
  
He took the phone, throwing a questioning glance at Asahi. Sugawara had picked up the phone. “Hello? Asahi?” It was Suga’s voice. Daichi brought the phone to his ear, giving a doubting glance at Asahi. Asahi gave an encouraging nod.  “Suga? This is Daichi.” He said in an uneasy voice.  
  
“Daichi? Is that you? Why are you calling with Asahi’s phone? It’s been such a long time. How have you been?” Suga’s voice burst with energy. Daichi couldn’t believe Suga was actually happy. He should be mad, furious. He was ignored for 6 months straight, but it didn’t seem to matter to him.  
  
“I’m fine.” Daichi said, trying to buy time to figure out what to say. “How are you?”  
  
“Oh I’m great. I really missed you. How are your studies?”  
  
“Oh, they’re good. How are yours?” He wanted to sound happy, but the voice on the other side made is heart feel heavy.  
  
“They’re great. I can’t stand hebrew though. That language is hard!” Suga said in a way that was too animated for his standards.  
  
“That’s good.” Daichi said. He thought Suga would understand by now that he had no idea how to conduct this conversation. He had to know it was weird right? Calling with Asahi’s phone, after almost half a year and not knowing what to talk about.  
  
“You sound distracted.” Suga said.  
  
Daichi stood up and started to walk around. “Maybe I am, a little.”  
  
“How come?”  
  
“We haven’t talked in ages. You’re in that weird place. Asahi kind of forced me to call you. No not kind of, he forced me.” He said while leering at Asahi.  
  
Suga laughed. “I’m glad he did.” A small pause. “This place isn’t weird. You should come and visit me sometimes. If that will make you feel better about it.”  
  
“You can have visitors?” He sounded more surprised than he should.  
  
“Yes, Daichi. This is a seminary. We’re not hermits. We can leave on the weekends and we can receive visitors.”  
  
“Again with the hermits.” He said. As the words left his mouth Asahi laughed and clapped his hands. Daichi gave him a stern look, then walked into the kitchen. “Nevermind that. Maybe I should. Come over, you know. Not the hermit thing.”  
  
“Yeah, you should. How about next Saturday?”  
  
Daichi pulled out his phone and checked his calendar. “Hmm. Yes, I’m free next Saturday.”  
  
“Great!” Suga exclaimed. Daichi could hear his smile through the pone. “I’m in adoration until three. So would three be okay? You can spend the night if you want, we have spare rooms.”  
  
“Three will be okay.” He noted it on his phone. “I will keep your offer for a sleepover in mind.”  
  
Sugawara laughed. “Great, I will text you the address.”  
  
“Thanks. I will see you next Saturday.” Daichi said as he walked back into the living room.  
  
“Next Saturday it is.” Suddenly Suga’s voice dropped to a serious tone. “Daichi?”  
  
“Hmm.”  
  
“Thanks for calling.”  
  
For a moment Daichi was lost for words. “You’re welcome?”  
  
Daichi told him he had to go now and ended the conversation. He looked at Asahi, who was obviously eavesdropping. Daichi walked, sat back on the couch and buried his head in his hands. Asahi patted him on his back. “You did well.”  
  
Asahi took a sip from his coffee. “So. Have you ever, you know, done anything with anyone?” Daichi scowled at him. After the call he wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation anymore. Asahi took another sip in a way that demanded an answer. Daichi gave in. “No.”  
  
“So Suga is the one?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Daichi leaned back. He took his coffee and shifted to face Asahi. He was going to have this talk, whether he liked it or not. “Yes, Suga is the one.”  
  
Asahi asked: “Have you told him?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Does he even know you are gay?”  
  
Daichi glanced toward the ceiling. Trying to recall if there were hints that Suga knew. He looked back at Asahi. “No.”  
  
Asahi leaned forward. “I don’t know if I should tell you. But I’m going to anyway.” He looked around, as if to see if someone was eavesdropping. “Just promise me not to tell, okay?”  
  
Daichi glanced around the room. He wasn’t sure why he did it, checking if no one was listening perhaps. He nodded, curious to hear the juicy story Asahi was about to present. Asahi seemed satisfied with a nod and continued. “Sugawara and I talked a lot. About his vocation of becoming a priest. About school. About you.” He paused. Asahi looked at his hands, took a deep breath and redirected his look back to Daichi. “He told me he was in love with you.”  
  
Daichi was dumbstruck. Sugawara was in love with him? And he hadn’t told him? No, he even ran away to become a priest! “He what?” Daichi exclaimed.  
  
Asahi repeated. “He is in love with you.”  
  
Daichi jumped up. “I don’t believe that. That would make this all so much worse. He’s in this crazy religion that hates gays and he’s running away to become a priest, just so he has an excuse not to love me. He ignored me for almost half a year, you know.”  
  
“You ignored him for almost half a year as well. And it’s not like that. He doesn’t hate gays, or you. Trust me on this one, he doesn’t. He really thinks he needs to be a priest.”  
  
“This is ridiculous,” Daichi exclaimed before falling back on the couch. “I haven’t spoken to him in ages and now you’re telling me this. You should’ve told me when I was in high school!” He sighed. “I don’t know if I can take this.”  
  
He felt confused. He wanted to see Suga very badly, but the thought of it made his stomach turn. He loved him and he loved him back, and as long as Suga was in that horrible place he called seminary there was no way this would ever have a happy ending.  
  
Asahi looked at him with a sorrowful face. “Just see him next Saturday. There is time, get your feelings straight.”  
  
Daichi nodded and decided he would just go to bed. Full of emotions. He had to figure out what he felt, what he wanted. What he needed.


	2. Horror in a holy place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi finally get's to see Suga again. Visiting Seminary after Asahi pressured him to call.

Daichi walked into the rather large building. Long hallways spread out on either side. He looked at the time. A quarter ‘till three. He was early. Suga should still be in, what was it, adoration. He looked at the sign in front of him, an arrow with the word “chapel” on it pointed to the right. A chapel is the most logical place to find a priest-to-be, he thought, and turned right.

He walked until he stood in front of a tall dark wooden door. He pushed the door slightly open and looked inside. The walls of the chapel where white. A row of pews on either side. Three steps leading up to an altar, on the bottom step knelt an angel. The angel was dressed in a white robe, so white it almost seemed to radiate light. Daichi recognised the angel. It was Suga.

“Excuse me.” Daichi was taken aback by a soft voice. He turned around to see a slouched youth. He had rather long blond hair, obviously dyed because black roots started to show, and eyes that seemed golden. Daichi stepped back.

“Can I help you?” The blond asked in an monotone voice and put his hands in the pouch of his oversized black hoodie. He raised himself upright. Daichi noticed how the edges his jeans were draped over his sneakers, frayed where they would touch the ground.

“I’m here for Sugawara.” Daichi answered. 

“Oh? So you’re Daichi?” 

What? How did he know? What did Sugawara tell about him? No, he calmed himself down, it was logical that people knew when visitors came over. He took a deep breath and replied with a simple. “Yes.”

The other gestured him to follow and opened the doors. They entered the chapel. A few people were kneeling in the pews. The blond whispered. “Genuflect.” Daichi gave a questioning look. The other kneeled on one knee and got up again. Daichi followed his example, then got into a pew. The blond kneeled next to him and stared intently at a the golden object placed on the altar, it resembled the sun.

Daichi stared at Suga. He noticed how Suga had his hands folded, fingers intertwined. The smooth white robe draped around his body. Suga looked at the golden object with a certain affection. Sometimes his lips would move, as if he was speaking without sound. Daichi felt confused. He was happy seeing Suga again. He looks like an angel, he thought. It hurt him. You can’t love an angel. The angel loved the golden sun.

A man entered the chapel, also wearing a white robe. Sugawara got up and moved to the side. The blond beside him stood up and started to sing, his voice was beautiful, angelic. He never expected that from the soft monotone speaker. He looked around in confusion. The other people in the chapel stood and sang as well. The sounds of the foreign language filled the room. Daichi decided to stand. 

Sugawara held a long cloth and put it over the shoulders of the other man in white. Then he knelt on the floor. The man in white ascended and took the golden sun. Slowly it from top to bottom, left to right. All the people in the chapel gestured in the same way, Daichi tried to copy, but wasn’t sure he got it right. The robed man put the sun in a safe, kneeled and exited the chapel. The others left as well. Sugawara spotted Daichi, a smile appeared on his face as he walked towards him.

“Daichi, glad you could make it. I’ve been looking forward to this so much.” He took a fistful of robe. “Wait outside the chapel for a minute, I have to get changed.”

Daichi wasn’t sure what to say. Seeing Suga like this made him uneasy. Seeing Suga like this, being happy, made him angry, or sad. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t reply but left the chapel and leaned against a wall until Suga came back.

Suga gave him a tour around the building. If Suga decided to quiz him, he would fail. His mind was preoccupied. He questioned himself, his motives. He tried to notice if Suga really was in love with him, tried to spot little hints. He found none. Suga was the same. Exactly as he always was. He started to think Asahi was wrong. Or worse, Suga lost interest in him.

He was led to Suga’s room. It was small. A single bed, a desk with a humming laptop and a two closets. One for clothes and one for books. Suga resumed the tour, showing him a room he could use if he wanted to spend the night. Daichi thanked for the offer, not this time. This time he couldn’t take it.

Suga led him to a large living room, and sat down on the couch. Daichi sat next to him. Their shoulders touched, their hips touched. Daichi could feel the warmth. Were they always sitting this close? Was Suga feeling this too?

Suga browsed the Netflix library. Daichi was surprised they had Netflix at this place. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice greet them. It was the blond boy from before. He sat down on the couch next to him. 

“So, Kenma. This is Daichi.” Sugawara said.

“We met.” Said the boy. So his name was Kenma, Daichi thought.

“What do you want to watch?” Asked Sugawara.

“I dunno, exorcism movie?” Kenma replied.

Again, Daichi was surprised. These people like exorcism movies? That’s just too weird. But a horror movie would be perfect. Suga got scared easily and would definitely crawl close to him. The perfect excuse to hold him once more.

Another man entered the room, ran his fingers through Kenma’s hair and sat down next to him. “You look like a slob, Kenma.” The man said. 

“Shut up Kuroo.” Kenma replied.

The man extended his arms behind Kenma’s back, offering a hand to Daichi. Daichi shook it. “Hi, my name is Kuroo. Kenma’s friend. You are?”

“Daichi, Suga’s friend.” He replied.

Kuroo smiled then reverted his attention to Kenma. “Kenma, we’re going shopping. You look like a slob and we can’t have that. You have an important meeting coming up.”

“And what might be so important that I have to buy new clothes?” He asked.

“Your mother wants to meet you.” Kuroo said.

Without hesitation Kenma stood up. “Kuroo, come, not in front of strangers.” He walked out the living room, Kuroo followed.

Daichi looked at Suga. “His mother? What’s the matter?”

Suga sighed. “Long story. Kenma is a convert, he was disowned when he got baptised. When he told his mother he wanted to be a priest she kicked him out. He stayed with Kuroo for half a year before coming here. Kuroo is trying to mend the gap between his parents and him, but it’s hard.”

“That sucks.” Daichi looked at the ground, he couldn’t think of a better response. He wasn’t sure if he should have asked. He wasn’t sure if he should know. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. 

“And you?” Daichi asked.

Suga gave him a questioning look. “What about me?”

“You never talked with me about those things. Your faith. You wanting to be a priest. How your parents deal with it. I am your friend, right? Why can’t you talk to me about, you know.. Things about you.”

Suga leaned forward, looking at his hand as he thought of the words. “There were… Are maybe… Some things that I’m not comfortable talking to you about. Because I know you’re not like that.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Daichi blurted out. “You talk to Asahi about personal stuff, but not me. Suga, I want to be part of your life as well, I thought I was.”

Suga opened his mouth to speak, hesitated and closed it again. He looked at Daichi. “Daichi, it’s not personal. I know you’re not good with this whole religion deal. And there are things I can’t talk to you about. And that hurts me too. Really it does. Trust me, it’s not because I don’t want you to be part of my life. I really want you in it. Really.”

Daichi thought he should grasp this opportunity, tell him how he loved him. Do something. He hated to see Suga conflicted like this. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a cheerful Kuroo. 

“We’re back!” 

The voice was too enthusiastic, too energetic. As if he was trying to force a dark atmosphere to stay behind in the other room. Kenma and Kuroo walked back into the room.

Suga smiled at them in a way that made even Daichi doubt if their conversation they had really happened. “So,” Suga said, looking at Kenma, “Exorcist?”

Kenma nodded. “Exorcist.”

They watched the movie. Suga curled up against Daichi, burying his face in his shirt at every scare. Daichi ran his fingers through Suga’s hair, as if he was trying to soothe him. This was obviously a sign, he thought. Suga wouldn’t curl up against someone he wasn’t in love with. He was sure of that. He twirled a lock of hair between his fingers and found himself lost in contrast. His loving gestures accompanied by demonic screams.

He glanced to his right. Kenma had his legs pulled up and grabbed his ankles. Kuroo had his arms spread out over the back of the couch, stroking Kenma’s head every time he jerked in horror. It reminded him of Suga and himself. 

A shriek. It was Suga, he buried in his face in Daichi’s chest and grabbed his shirt with both hands. Daichi smiled as he put his arms around Suga. “You agreed to watch this movie.”

Suga looked up with an expression Daichi recognised as embarrassment. “I know.” He said. “I’m just not good with them.” Daichi couldn’t help but laugh. They drew the attention of the other two, who looked at them in confusion. Daichi smiled apologetically. Kenma reverted his attention to the movie. Kuroo smirked. 

Daichi pulled Suga tight, ruffling his chin through his hair. Suga moved so he could see the rest of the movie. Holding Daichi’s arms, letting his head rest in Dachi’s embrace. Daichi felt the warmth, cherished it. He could feel a blissful smile on his face. A smile that did not belong with a horror movie.


	3. Shopping with secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma is forced to go shopping. Daichi tags along.

Kenma leaned against the gate of Kuroo’s university. He looked at his watch, Kuroo was running late. A sigh. He didn’t really want to go shopping for clothes, but Kuroo was right. He could not face his mother for the first time in ages in these worn-out clothes. 

He saw Kuroo walking towards the gate, chatting with somebody. He recognised the other guy, it was Daichi. Why was Daichi here? He clutched the strap of his bag.

“Hey, Kenma!” Kuroo said with a smile on his face. “Guess who I ran into? Daichi goes to the same college as I do, apparently.” Kuroo turned to Daichi. “We’re going shopping, he really needs to get out of those rags. Want to join us?”

“Sure,” Daichi looked at Kenma, “if that’s okay with you Kenma.”

Kenma really did not like the idea. Shopping was horrible, dragging a stranger along did not make it better. He tried to think of a good reason why Daichi couldn’t join them, but couldn’t make up a convincing one. Why was his mind deserting him at this crucial moment? He nodded.

And so the three of them went shopping. The college students dragged Kenma to every store they knew, making him try on more clothing than he thought possible. Every time he walked out of the dressing room the two would study him. Commenting on how the jeans did not flatter his hips or how a shirt brought out his eyes. It was ridiculous, really. Couldn’t they just buy a new outfit and be done with it? He fumbled with the hems as he endured the examination. 

As the day proceeded Kuroo and Daichi were carrying more and more bags. Kenma had not planned on buying a whole new wardrobe, but Kuroo insisted to buy this shirt or those pants, because he looked good in them. At first he objected, fought back. Mumbling something about being embarrassed. In the end he gave up. He went along with their shopping spree, waiting for it to be over. 

Finally they sat down at a small coffee shop. Kenma glanced at his watch again. He looked at Kuroo and Daichi and declared: “I’m out for a bit, gotta keep the office.” 

“The office?” Daichi asked.

“Kenma, you can’t just assume people know these things. Especially guys like him.” Kuroo rebuked him. Daichi protested. “Hey! Guys like him?” 

Kenma sighed. “We seminarians must pray at certain times of the day. We call it the Divine Office. I’m going to the park,” he pointed, “find a quiet spot and do my prayers. I’ll be back in, hmm, fifteen minutes.”

He stood up and headed to the park. The park was incredibly busy, he had not anticipated that. The warm spring afternoon had attracted every high school couple in Tokyo, or so it seemed. Kenma felt out of place, he seemed to be the only person in the park not holding hands, kissing, oozing out puppy love.

He strolled around, looking for a quiet place. Finally he found one under a tree and sat down. He looked around, wondering if he was really the only single in the park. He thought about how he would look in the eyes of the puppy love happy teens. A sad, lonely, man sitting alone under a tree. The thought was depressing. Kenma sighed. He took the book out of his bag, opened it and started his prayer ritual.

After he finished his prayers he headed back. He expected no more shopping. Kuroo and Daichi were probably getting tired of carrying all his stuff by now. They should be, they deserved it. He would be glad if this day was over. He was about to turn around the corner to rejoin their table when he overheard their conversation.

“..So it’s not like it’s all charity. But anyway. How long have you been in love with Sugawara?” Kuroo said.

“Second year of high school?” Daichi replied.

Kenma could not believe his ears. Daichi was in love with Sugawara? His breath stuck in his throat. He pressed himself against the wall, doing his best to hide.

“That’s a long time.” Kuroo said. “And you never told him? Not even a hint? It could’ve worked out you know.”

“No. He doesn’t even know I’m gay. And you’re one to talk. Your love life is just as pathetic as mine, you know.”

Kuroo laughed. “Yeah, yeah.”

Kenma leaned in, trying to hear better. Should he tell Sugawara about this? He figured Sugawara would want to know, but also thought it was not his duty to tell. But wasn’t it Sugawara’s right to know? What if he didn’t want to be around Daichi if he felt that way? That would be understandable. Sugawara has the right to know, he decided.

“It really sucks.” Daichi continued. “The way he looked at the golden thing in, what was it, adoring? He looked like he really loved it, I want him to look at me that way, not some gold thing.”

“Adoration.” Kuroo corrected him. “And it’s about the host inside it, not the, nevermind, Kenma got to me with his constant stream of terminology. I understand how you feel. You must’ve had a hard time at communion, if you get my drift.”

“Communion?” Daichi asked.

“Yeah, you’ve never seen him take it? You’re in for a treat.” Kuroo’s voice turned deeper. “Sugawara get’s down on his knees and will look up at the priest. Then he’ll close his eyes, open his mouth and stick out his tongue…”

Kenma could hear Daichi gulp. He didn’t know people could do that so loud. He also couldn’t believe Kuroo was eroticising taking Holy Communion. He wanted to reprimand Kuroo, but that would blow his cover, reveal he had been eavesdropping. He took a deep breath and turned the corned as if he just came back from prayer.

“Hi, I’m back.” He said, trying to display his best poker face.

“Hi, Kenma.” Daichi said in a way that revealed his uneasiness.

Kenma sat down. Kuroo smiled at him, he smiled back. Better to act like he had not heard anything. Not Kuroo’s blasphemous talking nor Daichi’s horrible secret. Daichi kept looking at him like he had been caught in the act. For a moment Kenma thought his cover was blown, but Kuroo didn’t seem to know he had been listening and soon Daichi returned back to normal as well. They didn’t know, probably.

“So,” Kuroo said, “I think we’re about done for today. Kenma, do you want me to drop you off at seminary?” 

“Yes, I’m not going to carry all this stuff myself you know.” Was his snark reply, but it was the truth. There were way to many clothes, more than he’d ever need. He felt like a barbie. A toy to be dressed and undressed for sheer entertainment.

Kuroo grinned. “Yeah, yeah. Be happy. You’re gonna be the best dressed seminarian around.”

“Like I care.”

Kuroo turned to Daichi. “Daichi, want me to drop you off as well?”

“Yes, please. It’s getting kind of late and, oh fuck.”

“What?” Kuroo asked.

Daichi looked at Kuroo in shock. “I totally forgot, I had to cook today. Asahi is going to be so pissed.”

Kuroo laughed. Kenma did not really understand why. 

“Then it’s decided.” Kuroo said as he stood up. “I’ll take you home, but first we’ll make a quick stop to get some Chinese takeaway.” He put one foot on the chair and pointed dramatically into the distance. Kenma grinned, Kuroo could really be a fool sometimes.


	4. Talk the talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi, Kuroo and Asahi have a talk.

“By the way, Kuroo, are you staying over for dinner?” Asahi asked as he put on an apron. Kuroo chuckled at the sight. Asahi, the large man with the ever so stubbly chin, wearing a pink apron with a flowery motif. Daichi understood his amusement, but Asahi seemed unaware. “So, are you?” He asked again.

“Yes, thanks.” Kuroo answered. Asahi turned around, rummaged in the brown paper bag on the counter and got out some vegetables, which he began to cut. 

Kuroo leaned against the kitchen wall as he watched Asahi cut the food. Daichi leaned beside him. 

“I can’t believe you went shopping last week, Daichi.” Asahi said. “You hate shopping.”

“It was a spur of the moment thing.” Daichi defended.

Kuroo laughed. “It wasn’t so bad, was it? We had fun.” 

“Sure. Fun. Shopping.” Daichi said in a voice so full of sarcasm that he could actually taste it. He moved and washed his hands before filling the rice cooker with rice. He really hated shopping, for himself that is. Dressing up Kenma turned out to be more fun than he expected, but he would never admit that.

“You’re just as bad as Kenma. You need to dress well! Please don’t become a slob like him. I don’t want to be surrounded by awfully dressed men.”

“Hey!” Asahi complained. “Don’t lump me in with Daichi. I have a sense of fashion.”

“Apron!” Kuroo exclaimed.

“We’re doing fish tonight.” Asahi declared, diverting the attention from his apron. Daichi obeyed and took some fish from the refrigerator. Kuroo watched the two cook and asked if he could help. The cooks refused his offer, politeness. Kuroo shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

Asahi skilfully cut the vegetables, Daichi butchered his fish. It was a slow, painful process. The fish slowly losing any resemblance to anything edible. Why did he help again? He always half-assed his turns with cooking. The microwave was his best kitchen tool. Asahi came to the rescue, taking the knife from his hand, starting an operation on the pink flesh. It turned out to be something resembling fish in the end. Daichi was relieved he didn’t have to serve mashed fish. He glanced at Kuroo, hoping his failure went by unnoticed, the grin on his face smashed that hope.

“You two sure are something.” Asahi said, continuing the conversation they were having earlier.

“Yeah, I know.” Kuroo said. “It wasn’t planning on in to happen either. But hey, you learn to live with it.”

“You do?” Asahi asked. “How? I’m curious.”

Kuroo looked at Daichi. “You simply accept your fate.”

Daichi gave him a look of disbelief. Simply accept your fate. He had done that before, he tried before. He couldn’t. He crossed his arms and pondered. His head felt heavy and clouded when he thought about it. Accept your fate. He blurted out his defence, shocked by the blaming tone. “That’s easy for you to say. Kenma doesn’t love you. With Suga it’s mutual. Mu-tu-al.”

“Daichi!” Asahi exclaimed. Daichi shut his mouth and walked out of the kitchen. Kuroo went after him.

“Hey, Daichi. I didn’t mean it like that.” Kuroo said. “I know it’s different for you and Sugawara, but still.”

“But still what?” Daichi snorted. He glanced at Kuroo. His eyebrows frowned, a face that screamed thunder. Kuroo stood still, for a moment Daichi saw hesitation. It made him aware of how threatening he must look at this moment. He liked it. He clenched his fists and put his chest forward, he finally felt in control. He tilted his head, breathing in through his nose. “Still what?” He demanded.

Kuroo took a small step back. Looking around as if he was looking for words. “Daichi, for me it wasn’t easy either.” He paused to close his eyes and took a deep breath. “When Kenma told me he was going to seminary he broke my heart. I want to be with him. I want him to be mine. Just like you want Sugawara to be yours. But Kenma was meant for something else, at least he thinks so. If I confess to him it will hurt him. Have you seen how happy he is? He needs to be there, it’s the right place for him. I have to accept that. I want him to be happy more than anything in the world. Even if that means he’s happy without me.”

Daichi wasn’t sure how to reply. He wanted to snap, call Kuroo an idiot. He couldn’t. He knew the words made sense, he knew Kuroo was right. He let himself fall on the couch. Grasping a pillow and hugging it tight. Emasculated he buried his face in it.

Kuroo continued. “If you can’t let Sugawara be, you’re going to hurt him. You don’t want to hurt him, do you?” No reaction. “I know you don’t. I know it’s hard. But you have to let him be. He can still be your friend, just not your lover.”

Daichi threw the pillow on the ground, hissing at the object of his anger. Kuroo moved closer and seated himself beside him. Daichi looked at him. Kuroo looked concerned, genuinely concerned. Daichi sighed, his breath felt like a dark cloud leaving his body. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can.” Kuroo said. He placed his hand on Daichi’s knee. “It’s just hard. Really hard.”

“I won’t.” He said in a voice that oozed determination. He locked eyes with Kuroo, took a deep breath and declared in a sure voice: “I won’t. I won’t give up on Suga. I’ll make him love me. I won’t let him get away from me. My love story is going to be different from yours. I’m not running away. Never again.”

“Don’t say that, Daichi.” Kuroo said, directing his gaze to the ground. His voice became softer. “You’ll end up hurting him. You’ll end up regretting it. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“I won’t regret a thing!” Daichi exclaimed and stood up. He spread his arms, as if the words he spoke were divine prophecy. “I’ll make him love me and I won’t regret a thing. It will work out, I know it.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or Kuroo. His voice showed no trail of doubt. Kuroo seemed unimpressed and shook his head. Daichi wasn’t sure if Kuroo was speaking or not, it didn’t matter. He knew what Kuroo wanted to say, and he wouldn’t have it. Nobody would take Suga away from him, not now he got him back after half a year.

Nobody would take him away now.


	5. A mothely figure.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma finally meets his mother, but time hasn't healed their wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally things start to get serious. I hope you like this chapter, because I liked writing it.

Kenma entered the restaurant, it was only a couple of blocks away from seminary and the food was supposed to be quite good. That wasn’t the reason why he was here though. This was no ordinary Saturday night.

He scanned the room and saw his mother sitting at a table in the corner. He walked up to her, wondering if she noticed how his clothes were all new and stylish. Really, she hadn’t seen him dressed this good, ever. She looked up and spotted him, he smiled. She smiled back, the forced smile she always put on in public.

He sat down at the table, greeting her. There was no real response, just an obligatory greeting. Kenma took the menu, glanced over it and decided he was going to have some pasta. A waiter came to the table and took their order. In all this time, his mother had not said a word to him, which was weird, he thought. Kuroo had told him his mother wanted to speak to him, right? After a year of silence his mother showed no intention to break it. Kenma took his glass of water, slowly swirling it before he took a sip.

Kenma decided she was probably as nervous as he was. There was no way this conversation was going to be easy, he didn’t expect it to be. He didn’t really know what to say. He folded his hands on the table. “So how have you been?” He asked.

His mother looked at him with a blank expression. Kenma quickly reached for his glass and took a gulp of water as his mother folded her arms, looking at the table as if she was pondering the answer. 

The waiter returned and placed the plates of food in front of them. Kenma immediately took a fork and spoon and skilfully rolled the pasta around his fork. He brought the fork to his mouth, glancing at his mother, who was busy cutting her steak. He regretted eating pasta, because he always ended up slurping an uncooperative string.

The silence was amplified by the sound of their cutlery. Kenma took another sip of water and braced himself for the sound his glass would make when he put it back down. 

He rolled another fork full of pasta, looking at it intensely he asked: “So what did you want to talk about?” He immediately regretted the question, it sounded to harsh, too reproachful. With all his heart he hoped she would remain silent.

His breath stopped as she sighed and looked at him. He felt his muscles tense, bracing himself for what she would say.

“Kenma,” she said, “your father and I…”

She looked at him intently. Kenma swallowed his mouthful of pasta. She continued, voice unsure. He put down his fork and straightened himself. His shoulders as wide as he could possibly muster. An appearance of pride to hide his insecurity, manliness to hide his fear. He straightened his face. For a moment he believed in his own facade. 

“We’re giving you a chance. A last chance.” Kenma’s eyes widened as he feared the words to come. He could feel his face heat up, his heart race in his throat. His facade shattered. 

“Stop this nonsense. We can be a family again. Otherwise… I’m sorry.”

Kenma couldn’t believe his ears. He hadn’t spoken to his mother in a year. Kuroo had called her, visited her, massaged her into making up. To let him be her son again, to accept him. A year. This? 

He stood up forcefully. His chair toppled backwards and hit the ground with a loud smack. His breathing heavy he felt his eyes getting wet. He wasn’t going to cry here, not now. He stuttered. “I, I.” He had to get out of there, he thought. 

He made his way to the door, a first tear rolled down his cheek. With both hands he threw the door open as the wind chilled his tears. He exhaled loudly. Walking, faster, running. He sprinted back to seminary. The longest run he had ever taken. Every step hurt, every step put more distance between him and his mother, every step felt like it made the break more permanent. Kenma dashed through the hallways, ran into his room, jumped on his bed and buried his face in his pillow.

He cried. His sobbing muffled by his pillow. The choice he had to make was impossible. Both answers were wrong, and he knew it. He wanted to disappear, let the ground consume him. Vanish from the face of the earth.

“Kenma? What happened?”

It was Kuroo’s voice. Soft and worried. He heard him approaching, felt him seating himself on the bed. A hand on his head, fingers running through his hair.

He screamed raw emotions in his pillow. His body shivering involuntarily. Kuroo lay down beside him, gently forcing him on his side. He replaced the pillow with Kuroo’s chest. Grasping his shirt as the other wrapped his arms around him. 

He explained, his voice shook as he spoke. The sobbing brutally interrupting his sentences. Kuroo hummed understandingly, whispering soothing words. Running his warm hands down his back and neck as his body trembled. 

His breathing slowly became steady, following the rhythm of Kuroo’s chest. The tears stopped, his head became foggy. Darkness engulfed him and he fell asleep.

***

 

The soft buzzing in his pocket waked Kenma. He shoved his hand in his pocket and turned the alarm off. He was lying in his bed. Kuroo lay in his bed as well. Their legs entangled. Kuroo was holding him. One hand on his head, the other holding his waist, keeping him from falling out of the bed. He nuzzled Kuroo’s chest, eyes closed, not ready to face the place that seperated him from is family.

Kuroo seemed to be awake. His fingers caressed his scalp. Kenma could hear his breathing, feel the flow of air on his face. It soothed him. Kuroo spoke in a soft voice. Almost a whisper. “Good morning.”

Kenma hummed. He wasn’t ready to talk. He wasn’t ready to face reality. He just wanted to be cradled and loved an never be confronted with hurt again. He shifted closer to Kuroo. Breathing in the familiar scent of his friend, he realised he missed it. He grabbed Kuroo’s shirt with his arms as if he was trying to draw him closer. 

He felt Kuroo’s fingers stroking his lower back, his head, his neck. The warm fingers contrasting with the cold air. The warm body in front of him, the arms around him, the play of cold and warm. It made him feel safe, he could feel a faint smile on his face as he realised the feeling. No, he wasn’t allowed to wallow in warm feelings now. He blew a strand of hair from his face. It fell back. Kuroo’s hand slid over his ear, his cheek, taking the lock and tucking it behind his ear.

Kuroo pressed his lips to his hair. “You know you can’t stay like this. You have to get up soon.”

Kenma knew. He just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Not yet. He groaned in protest.

“What is your role today?” Kuroo asked, gently rubbing his nose through his hair.

He hated this. There was no way he could answer without speaking. He couldn’t fake sleeping, Kuroo knew he was awake. In a voice so small it was barely audible he said: “Incense” 

“If you actually have a role, then you can’t be late.” Kuroo said as he crawled over Kenma, getting out of the bed. Kenma tried to hold him, keep him from going. Kuroo wouldn’t let him and walked towards Kenma’s closet as Kenma managed to intertwine their fingers, savouring the touch.

Kuroo opened the closet and got his suit out, he was here so often he actually got a Sunday suit and kept hit there. He threw it over the chair, took Kenma’s suit and handed it to him. Kenma accepted reluctantly.

He got out of the fashionable clothes Kuroo chose for him. They weren’t so bad, he caught himself thinking. Kuroo was changing as well. They both slept in their clothes this night. Kenma had cried himself to sleep, effectively forcing Kuroo to spend the night in his cramped bed. Kenma felt guilty, he felt like a burden to Kuroo. 

Kuroo finished his tie and looked at Kenma. He wast still buttoning up his shirt. His fingers shook a little. The room felt safe, Kuroo felt safe. He never wanted to leave, how could he? His family never wanted to see him again, his mother could never make him feel safe again. He repeated the mantra over and over in his head.

Kuroo knelt down in front of him and buttoned his shirt. He took a tie and tied it. As he fastened it he looked at Kenma. “Don’t worry,” he said, “I’m here.”

Kenma nodded. Kuroo offered his hand, he took it and Kuroo pulled him standing.

They exited his room to find Sugawara pounding on the door of a guest room, shouting: “Daichi, get up! You’re coming with me for Sunday mass, wether you like it or not. I’m coming in.”

Sugawara barged into the room, Kuroo watched the spectacle with an amused expression. Kenma waited as well. He hunched his shoulders and put his hands in his pockets. 

“Wha, what?” Daichi sat up in his bed. Kenma averted his eyes, Daichi was only wearing his boxers. 

“Get up. Get dressed.” Sugawara said as he took some clothes from the chair and threw them on the bed.

“Wait what?” Daichi looked around in confusion. “Why are you all wearing suits?”

“It’s Sunday. You look Sunday best on Sunday.” Sugawara said. 

“I don’t even own a suit!” Daichi exclaimed.

“Doesn’t matter, get dressed. We’re gonna be late.” Sugawara said.

Daichi obeyed. He got out of the bed and started to get dressed. Kenma tried his best not to look. Kuroo saved him. “Come Kenma,” he said, “you’re gonna be late.”

Kenma was glad to be away from the changing man, he never really felt comfortable around nearly-naked people. Or naked people. Kuroo being the only exception. 

Kuroo dragged him through the long hallways towards the chapel. Kenma wasn’t sure if Kuroo was walking faster than usual or his body couldn’t find the energy to move. Either way he stumbled behind the other man. His wrist red from being pulled. He felt like a kid not wanting to go home, being dragged by his parents by force. They got to the chapel and his wrist was released. He closed his eyes and took a deep shaking breath. Kuroo calmed him down, assuring him he would be there. Telling him how they, not Kenma alone, would get through this.

Kuroo and Kenma parted ways, Kuroo entered the chapel, Kenma went to put on his robe. Painfully slowly he searched through the closet to find his size. He finally got one out and spread it out on the table in the middle of the room. He let his hand run over the smooth fabric as he tried to swallow away a lump in his throat. Sugawara entered the room. He greeted Kenma, snapping him out of his downward spiral towards another episode of tears. Sugawara would assist as well today, he told him. He smiled reassuringly, as if he knew what was going on. They divided the tasks, fine tuned their timing and read the songs of the day. Not that they needed to, they’d done this so often they could dream it. 

Kenma went through the motions, but his mind was absent. He gestured, swung the incense vessel around, thought about other things. He knelt down next to Sugawara. Sugawara received communion, he looked around and gave Daichi a stern look. Then he closed his eyes, and raised his head. He parted his lips, slowly sticking his tongue out.

He mustered all his willpower to form a thought. Lord, please fill me with your love.


	6. As the world burns.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter will finally have some kissing. And, of course, more drama.

Daichi lay on Suga’s bed. Recalling the image of Suga on his knees, eyes closed tongue out. It really was quite erotic, he thought. He smiled as he recalled the smooth slickness of Suga’s tongue, the way his eyelashes quivered as he forced his eyes to close. His smile disappeared as he remembered the leer, Kenma had looked at him, as if he wanted to say: “I know what you’re doing, stop it.” Did he really, though? There was no way.

He shifted to his side, resting his head in the palm of his hand. Suga was sitting at the desk, tapping away on the keyboard. It was weird to see him in a suit. He had never seen him in one, but it looked really good on him. The blue jacket hugging his shoulders, his waist. The red tie hiding the softness of his character, making him look powerful and in control. 

Suga closed the document he was working on and looked at Daichi. He snapped his fingers in front of his face. “Daichi.” He said. “Earth to Daichi.”

“Huh, what?” Daichi responded.

Suga swivelled his chair around to face him and crossed his legs. “You’re spacing out.” He declared.

Daichi shifted into a sitting position facing Suga. “No, I’m not.” He said. He wasn’t going to admit spacing out over Suga on his knees, presenting his tongue in such a way. O sweet daydream.

“Yes you are. What are you thinking about?” 

Daichi quickly tried to make up a lie. He let his thumb run past his jaw, as if the gesture could help him make up something to say. He failed, his mind drifted back to Suga on his knees. No thought worth sharing. “Nothing.” He said in defeat.

“Is there something wrong?” Suga asked. He moved from his chair and sat on his knees in front of Daichi. He placed his hands on his legs and looked up. “You’ve been acting weird lately. Is something bothering you? You can talk about it if you want to. Maybe I can help.”

Daichi swallowed. Suga was so close to him, looking at him with a worried look on his face. He leaned back, resting on his arms. He looked away. Hoping the physical distance would get Suga to back off. To sit back on his chair. In his peripherals he saw Suga still sitting. The scene reminded him once again of the eroticism of communion. He had to beat some sense into Kuroo for doing this to him, for making him such a pervert. Finally he answered. “No, there’s nothing.”

“Really?” Was the sceptical response. “It doesn’t sound like you believe it yourself.”

Daichi sighed. “Yes, really.” 

“Daichi,” Suga said in a low voice, “I’m here for you.”

Daichi suddenly moved forward. He grabbed Suga’s tie and pulled him towards him. Their lips crashed together. Daichi closed his eyes and slid his tongue over Suga’s teeth. He felt his face heat up as his tongue slid past the white pearls. His chapped lips sliding over Suga’s soft warm lips. The taste of Suga’s mouth on the tip of his tongue, the faint smell of incense in his hair.

He pulled the tie forcefully, encountering no resistance. A small groan left his mouth. He parted his lips further and slid his tongue in. Finally experiencing the taste he had been wanting all those years. Suga’s tongue was soft, sleek, gentle. It was exactly how he expected Suga’s tongue to feel.

Suga put his hands on Daichi’s arms and grabbed his shirt. He leaned in, softly humming. Suddenly he grabbed Daichi’s wrist, forced his tie loose and threw himself back. He crawled backwards until he hit the desk.

“Daichi, I, You.” Suga was breathing heavily, starting sentences, never moving on to the second word.

Daichi stood up, his face was burning up. “Suga,” he declared, “I love you. You love me. Be mine already!”

Suga looked at him, bewildered. He tried to pull himself up by the desk, but apparently could not find the strength in his arms. He fell back on the ground and looked at Daichi in confusion. Daichi’s confession hadn’t been romantic, it was a declaration. Daichi could tell Suga was taken aback by Daichi’s move. Still, he had kissed him back. He had hummed. Hummed! Suga liked it.

Daichi got down on the floor, crawling towards Suga. Their faces just centimetres apart. He looked in Suga’s eyes. “Please be mine.” He whispered as he closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss.

His lips were met by the palm of Suga’s hand. “Please leave.” He heard in a trembling voice. Daichi crawled back and sat on the floor. He could feel a drop of sweat making it’s way down his neck. His mouth became as desert as he looked at Suga in disbelief.

“Please don’t do this, Suga.” He said. His plea didn’t even convince himself. He knew it was over. He knew he had fucked up good. There was nothing left but beg and grovel. Suga was a reasonable man, he wouldn’t do this to him. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Leave!” Suga shouted, waving his arm towards the door.

The sound scared Daichi. He opened his mouth to formulate another excuse but nothing but a shivering breath left his lips. Daichi could feel the tears well up in his eyes. He looked at Suga, hoping for pity. Suga was crying as well, but looked stern. Daichi tried to speak but as he opened his mouth Suga’s look became even more strict. He clenched his teeth.

Daichi got up and left the room. He made his way through the long hallways. Broad steps. He blamed himself for even trying, it wasn’t going to work out and he knew it. Why was he so stupid. It was over.

***

 

Kenma nodded as Kuroo explained how he was going to contact his mother again. Talk some sense into her. He looked up at Kuroo, who was leaning on the wall with one hand placed right next to his head, the other in his pocket as he shielded Kenma from the empty hallway. 

Kenma leaned back at the wall, grabbing his wrist behind his back. He stared at his feet, the dark jeans falling over his new sneakers. “This is a lost cause.” He mumbled.

“No, it’s not. Don’t you worry, I’m going to fix it for you.”

Kenma stared into Kuroo’s eyes, they revealed little doubt. Kuroo was set on reuniting Kenma and his family. Kenma felt sorry for dragging Kuroo into this. However noble his intentions were, it was utterly useless. But kuroo seemed relentless. Charging right back into the heat of the battle after being shot down so many times Kenma lost count. He sighed. “You didn’t break anything, you don’t have to fix it.”

“I’m not fixing it because I broke it. I’m fixing it because I want to help you.”

Kenma pushed himself closer to the wall. A few strands of hair fell in front of his face, blocking Kuroo from his sight, as he averted his eyes. “It’s hopeless.” He said. He shook his head. “It’s not going to work.” 

“It is.” Kuroo said.

“No, it’s not. But,” Kenma pushed the strand of hair behind his ear and looked up again, “thank you. Thank you for trying. You’re the best.” He tried to flash a smile, but wasn’t sure it was genuine. He wanted his smile to be the most thankful Kuroo ever saw, because he was, but the muscles in his cheeks had to be forced. He had to pry open his lips by sheer willpower to reveal the white of his teeth.

He heard steps in the hallway. Kuroo got his hand of the wall and took a step back from Kenma. The cold space between them made him realise how close they were just now. His lips closed, the corners of his mouth sank back into their gloomy position. He glanced toward the steps. He even felt angry, who tried to disturb this moment, this momentum was too important to be broken.

The steps were Daichi’s. He marched through the hallways like an angry buffalo. No, Kenma thought, it wasn’t quite anger. His face did not conceal the mix of rage and panic he had seldom seen. His breathing was heavy and furious, like he could blow steam out of his nostrils. Fists clenched as he swung his arms, thrusting his whole body forward with determination.

Daichi didn’t even look at them when he walked by. Stomped by. Kuroo looked at Kenma. “I’ve gotta go help him, you understand? I’ll see you in a moment.” 

He ran towards Daichi and threw an arm around his shoulder. Daichi elbowed himself free and made his way. Kuroo followed, trying to get him to talk.

Kenma stood alone in the hallway. It seemed even colder than it was, darker than it was. The grey stones carried the echo of angry steps. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, a small sigh left his lips. Kenma decided to use this time to pray. Pray that his mother would take back her word, pray that he wouldn’t have to make the decision. He dragged his feet to the chapel.

The chapel wasn’t empty. Suga sat on his knees in front of the tabernacle. Kenma could hear soft sobs filling the room. He slowly walked towards Sugawara, moving silently as if he was sneaking up on him.

He knelt down beside him. Sugawara looked at him. His eyes red, face wet with tears. He must have been crying for some time, Kenma thought as he noticed how some of tears had already dried. Sugawara took a shaky breath and said: “God plays mean games.”

Kenma immediately defended. “No, He doesn’t.” He began to doubt the words as they materialised. Maybe He played mean games. Mean games with Kenma, mean games with Sugawara. He rebuked himself, this wasn’t the moment to doubt the benevolence of his Lord, nor was it the time to defend Him against the accusations of this seminarian. He lowered his tone, tried to make it as comforting as he could. “What happened?”

Sugawara looked up at the tabernacle. “We kissed. Daichi. I.” A moment of silence. Kenma’s mouth fell open, Sugawara continued. “He’s in love with me. I’m in love with him. This is horrible Kenma. This can’t be. Why?”

He looked at Kenma. Kenma could read the panic from his face. He had never seen Sugawara like this. Sugawara was always composed, caring, gentle. The man in front of him had none of those qualities. He was broken. He oozed doubt like the entire foundation of his existence had turned out to be a lie. Kenma took a breath, closed his mouth to formulate an answer. He was lost for words and released his breath. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say.” He looked up at the tabernacle. He could feel Sugawara wasn’t doing the same, the eyes demanded an answer. It remained silent.

Sugawara continued. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Kenma. I love him, I really do. I can’t be with him, I know that. I don’t want him gone, you know?”

“I understand.” Kenma said. He didn’t know what else he could say. He knew Daichi was gay and liked Sugawara. He definitely did not know the same about Sugawara, the thought never occurred to him. Now that he thought of it, they had been pretty close.

“How did you and Kuroo solve it?” Sugawara asked.

“Solve what?”

“You know. That Kuroo loves… Oh God. Don’t tell me. You didn’t…” 

Kenma’s eyes widened. His face revealed the epiphany he was having. Kuroo was in love with him? How could he not have noticed? Why was he so blind?

Thousands of memories flooded his mind. The way Kuroo ruffled his hair. How he always held him when they watched scary movies. The hugs, the affectionate looks he got. It all made sense now. 

Kenma sprung up. “I have to go.” He said and ran out of the chapel.

“No, Kenma, wait!” He heard Sugawara yell, but ignored it and ran as fast as he could.

The hallways seemed longer than usual as he sprinted through them. He grabbed a pillar and swung himself around a corner, sprinting further until he reached the entrance.

Kuroo and Daichi were talking outside. Daichi seemed calmer than he did earlier, but Kenma didn’t care about Daichi. Kuroo was all he cared about now. 

He stood panting in the doorway. Catching his breath, hands on his knees. He erected himself, clenched his fists and yelled.

“What the fuck Kuroo?”

Kuroo and Daichi looked at him. He could read the confusion on their faces. Kuroo tilted his head a little, opened his mouth to form a response, but was interrupted by another outburst.

“What are you thinking? Goddamn!” Kenma was shocked by his own swearing. He could see Kuroo was taken aback too. 

Kuroo extended his arm, palm open like a negotiator. A gentle gesture to make him calm down. He spoke in a soft, concerned voice. “Kenma? What’s wrong?” 

“Fuck you! You’ve been playing me all these years. Why didn’t I notice? You sick fuck! I thought you were my friend! I trusted you! I thought I could trust you!”

Kuroo slowly walked towards him. He opened his arms and wrapped them around Kenma, resting his chin on his head. “You can always trust me, Kenma. You know that. What’s the matter?” Kuroo said.

Kenma let his head rest against his chest, only for a moment. He violently wrangled himself free. 

“Let me go!” He shouted. “You may like that, but I don’t. I’m not like that!”

Kuroo took a step back. “Wait.” He said. “Is this about me?”

“Yes.” Kenma yelled. “Yes this is about you. About you taking advantage of me. About you pretending to be my friend, because… because..”

“Because I love you?” Kuroo asked. He didn’t wait for an answer. “Kenma, yes, I love you. I’m totally in love with you. But I would never, ever, take advantage of you. You’re my friend.”

Kenma clicked his tongue. “Some friend you are.”

Daichi put a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. “Listen, Kenma,” Daichi said. “Kuroo is your friend. He would never hurt you.”

“What do you know?” Kenma yelled. “You kissed Sugawara. You made him cry. Aren’t you his friend? You hurt him!”

“Please stay out of this, Daichi.” Kuroo said and brushed away the hand from his shoulder. He reverted his attention to Kenma. “Kenma, I love you. But you don’t love me the same way. And I accept that, however hard it is. I simply never told you, because… I was afraid it would affect our friendship.”

“And you’re right.” Kenma hissed. “Leave.”

“But.”

“Get out!” Kenma yelled. He turned around and ran back into the building.

He ran into the chapel. It was dark. He raised his arms, crossed them in front of his head and let himself fall forward. He smacked on the hard cold floor and hissed in pain. His ribs hurt, but it didn’t matter. The would make a fine punishment for behaving the way he did. He let his head rest on his arms and brushed his nose on the floor. 

He felt how he slowly lost control of his body. His breathing became shaky. Tears rolled down his face over his nose, forming a puddle on the ground. He inhaled deeply, the salty smell of tears filling up his nose and mouth. He cried. He was confused. He didn’t know why he did what he did. He didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t know a thing. He couldn’t create a coherent thought. Unable to move he sobbed and wheezed. He tried to concentrate on the pain in his ribs, moving away from the emotional confusion to physical pain. Pain he could understand, but his mind would not allow it.

Kenma didn’t know how long he laid there. The crying stopped, his breathing returned back to normal ever so slowly. He didn’t want to get up. He wanted to lie down here forever. He heard the door open, footsteps filled the darkness. Kenma spoke. “I told you to leave.”

“You never told me to leave.” It was Sugawara. “And I couldn’t go anywhere if I wanted to.” With that he walked towards him. The sound of his steps becoming louder as he closed the distance. Finally he entered Kenma’s aura of desolation. 

Kenma clenched his teeth. “Sorry.”

“So you told Kuroo to leave?” Sugawara knelt down beside him.

Kenma nodded, but realised Sugawara couldn’t possibly see that in the dark. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry, Kenma. It wasn’t my place to say that.” He put a hand on Kenma’s shoulder. The warm gesture made him shiver. It reminded him of Kuroo. For a moment he remembered Sugawara was gay, but banished the unhelpful thought out of his mind. 

Silence filled the room. Kenma contemplated sitting up. Finally he did, wincing as he moved his chest. These were going to be bruises tomorrow, he knew that for sure. He moved to face Sugawara and stared at the dark silhouette. “No, I’m sorry.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I was supposed to help you, but I blew it.”

Silence again. Kenma didn’t know what to say, he averted his eyes and stared at the altar, covered in darkness. 

“It seems like we worked ourselves in a bad situation.” Sugawara said. Kenma agreed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all the drama in the last chapter. The boys try to make up.

Daichi lay on the couch. The television chattered, laughed. The sound of the laughing audience filled the otherwise silent room. He closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. Days had passed, but he still couldn’t believe he fucked up so badly. He got up and walked towards the window. The glass plate reflected the blue light of the television. It reflected him. He stared at his reflection, wishing he could become as soaked as the mirror image of him standing in the rain. He heard the trees, stirred up by the wind. A sudden gust smashing more water on his reflection.

He walked away from the window and headed to the kitchen. Comfort food. Like a tornado he opened all the drawers and cupboards, finally finding his salvation in a large bar of chocolate. He tore the wrapper brutally with his teeth. Like a lion devouring an antelope he took a bite. A mouth full of chocolate did not make him feel better, if anything it made him feel worse. A fat lazy glutton, sentenced to find solace in a chocolate bar. 

The doorbell rang. He swore, a mouth full of mushy melting brown gold. Asahi was an idiot, he always forgot his key. He walked to the door, munching away, hoping he would be able to swallow his moment of weakness before he opened the door. There was too much weakness, he failed.

He opened the door, trying to reprimand Asahi before realising his words were incomprehensible. Wind blew through the hallway, taking with it the rain. The hair of the man before him was soaked, his jeans were soaked, his coat was soaked, his scarf was soaked. He was the embodiment of being drenched to the skin.

“Suga?” He managed to utter. Swallowing the content of his mouth forcefully he almost choked. Not sure if it was in shock or because it was too much chocolate.

Suga looked at him. His shoulders hung, he stood on one leg, resting the other on the tip of his toe, ready to turn around and abandon this meeting. He said nothing.

“Suga?” Daichi repeated. Not sure if he heard him the first time. Maybe he was dreaming, this couldn’t be real. 

“Can. Can I come in?” Suga asked without looking at him. 

Daichi stepped back. Suga walked in, leaving a trail of water every step of the way. He made his way to the middle of the hallway. A puddle of water formed around his feet, wind blew by him. He shivered. Daichi looked in awe, nailed to the ground. It took him a moment to realise the door was still open. He closed it.

Not sure what to do he walked to Suga. He passed him, heading toward his bedroom. What was he going to say, what was he going to do? His mind deserted him. He took some clothes from his closet and went back to Suga. Without a word he offered the clothes. Holding them in one hand, his arm extended. Suga reached out for the dry clothes. Daichi immediately turned around and walked out. He let himself fall on the couch, burying his head in his hands. 

Moments later he heard footsteps enter the living room. Suga seated himself beside him on the couch and turned the tv off. A silence filled the room, so thick Daichi thought he could feel it. He heard Suga shift and looked up through the corner of his eye. The sight of Suga in his blue jeans, in his white t-shirt made him feel slightly euphoric. Somewhat victorious. He reprimanded himself for feeling that way and buried his head deeper in his hands.

“Should I break the silence?” Suga said. Uncertain. Careful as if his words would shatter glass.

Daichi didn’t know what to say. He tried to speak but found himself mute. He nodded, sitting up and averting his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Daichi.” Daichi could feel Suga’s gaze burn. He knew he had to react. He clenched his fists. “No!” Daichi exclaimed. Startled by his victory over muteness his voice returned to a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

He knew not what to say. So he said nothing. He fucked up, he knew that. Kuroo was right, but he was too dense to admit it. He looked at Suga, who looked back at him. His lips parted as if he wanted to speak but could not find the words. Daichi took a deep breath, he let it out again without speaking. The words wouldn’t come to him. The silence dragged on, becoming more and more painful.

Suga took Daichi’s hand. The soft warm palm against his, he tangled their fingers together. He stroked Suga’s hand with his thumb as he tried to figure out what the gesture meant. He looked at Suga and was immediately captivated by the way his eyes seemed to shine in the dark. He leaned in and parted his lips. Suga shifted back. “Daichi, no.” It was nothing more than a soft whisper, as if he didn’t want to hear the words himself.

Daichi moved back and clenched his teeth. He let go of Suga’s hand and crossed his arms. Suga put his hand on his shoulder. What did the guy want? Drawing him in with warm gestures and pushing him away when he followed through. Suga closed the distance Daichi had created, he could feel their hips touch, the rubbing of fabric. “Daichi, we need to talk this out.” Suga said.

He knew. Yes he knew. But he didn’t want to. Suga would crush his hopes forever, it would mean the end of everything that could ever be. He pushed Suga’s hand away and shook his head. Suga gave him a look that screamed he would not take no for an answer. Daichi looked away. Suga started talking anyway.

“Daichi. Listen. I know you’re gay and in love with me. You know I’m gay and in love with you. But it is not meant to be. I’m sorry. I cannot be with you, even if I want to. But I want you in my life.” There was a pause. Daichi could feel Suga looking at him, begging him to look at him while he fell apart him. “I want you to be my friend. I’m sorry I told you to leave, I shouldn’t have done that. That was stupid of me. I’m stupid. Just don’t go. Please don’t leave me. I couldn’t stand it. Please, Daichi. Oh God hear me, I’m rambling. But Daichi, please, answer me. Say you’ll stay by my side.” His voice was close to tears. Daichi couldn’t force himself to look at the angel that drifted away from him. The angel forced him, taking his head between his hands and turning it. Their eyes met, Daichi couldn’t look away from the teary orbs even if he wanted to. He parted his lips, forcing out the words.

“Suga, I’ll always be by your side.” That was it. The dream was broken, the cliche repeated. Sure he’d stay by his side, not that it mattered. Wait, of course it mattered, staying by Suga’s side would be torture. He closed his eyes and let his face rest in Suga’s hands. “It’s all so painful.” He said, trying to hide the lump in his throat. Suga nodded and rested his forehead on Daichi’s. “I know.” He answered.

Suga slid his arms around Daichi’s shoulders, pulling him closer. Daichi leaned in, wrapping his arms around Suga’s waist. He buried his head in his neck as Suga did the same. The embrace hurt him, it was so painful he couldn’t stand it. He felt the warm tears of Suga on his skin, he had to be strong. He stroked Suga’s back as he slowly whispered reassuring words. The sobbing man let out a stream of incomprehensible apologies, whispered in a shaking voice. 

***

 

Kenma was kneeling in the middle of the empty chapel. His head hung low and his shoulders hunched. The oversized hoodie hid the form of his body, his long hair hid his face from the world around him. Small beads passed through his fingers as he whispered the latin words. Almost inaudible as if he was hiding from the God he was praying to. A large bead found a way between his thumb and forefinger, forcing him to stop the reciting of the ave maria prayers. He took a deep breath. “Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur Nomen Tuum” He opened his eyes and raised his head to look at the altar. As he resumed his voice became weaker and weaker, until he could no longer hear himself. “Et ne nos inducas in tentationionem.”

“Sed libera nos a Malo.” Came a clear voice from the back of the chapel. Kenma was surprised anyone could hear his prayers. He was sure not even God heard his words, but apparently someone else did. 

“Amen.” Kenma said. And he bowed his head and closed his eyes. A small bead slipped between his fingers and he whispered another ave maria. Steps closed in on him and the voice completed the last verse for him again. He heard the man moving next to him an kneeling beside him. He wasn’t sure he was whispering anymore, maybe just his lips moved along with the latin. The voice didn’t care and completed every last verse. 

After the last prayer of his rosary, Kenma made the sign of the cross and kissed the small cross on the chain of beads. He looked at the man beside him. “What do you want, Kuroo?” He asked.

“To talk.” Was the simple response. Kuroo didn’t look at him, he kept his eyes fixated on the altar in front of them. Kenma didn’t know what to say or what to feel. He was done with praying, so he could just leave. He erected himself and turned around. 

“Kenma.” Kenma halted, curious what Kuroo was going to say. Was he going to beg? Blackmail him with his mother? Maybe he was angry.

“Kenma, will you hear me out?” The question seemed sincere. Kuroo seemed to be willing to accept no as an answer. Kenma, however, found himself frozen. Unable to answer yes or no. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to answer. The silence endured. Kenma realised Kuroo wouldn’t continue until he gave an answer. He cleared his throat and forced out a whisper. Yes, he would humour him.

Kuroo looked at the ground before him. “The thing is, Kenma.” There was a small pause that Kenma couldn’t place. Kuroo continued. “I feel like I have to apologise, but I also feel like I didn’t do anything wrong. So I can’t say I’m sorry.” He looked up at Kenma, who was struck with surprise. Did Kuroo expect him to apologise? 

“I.” Kenma was lost for words. Kuroo interrupted his search for vocabulary. “No Kenma, let me talk. I know you’re not gay, that’s why I never told you. But I like you as a friend as well. I liked you as a friend long before I fell in love with you and I will like you as a friend long after the butterflies will die.”

Kenma was silent. He moved into a pew and pushed his forehead to his knees. His hands grabbing the hair on the back of his head. 

“I know Sugawara blurted it out. I heard it from Daichi. And I know your reaction was more surprise than actual disgust. At least I hope so. I keep telling myself that. That’s why I came back here. I don’t expect you to be my boyfriend, I really don’t. I just hope. Hope that you will still be my friend.” He felt Kuroo looking at him, but decided to burry his head deeper between his knees, if that was possible at all. Kuroo’s voice broke the silence again. “If you don’t want to be around me anymore I can’t stop you. I just hope, really really hope, that you won’t send me away again.” Kuroo took a deep, shivering breath, revealing the tension he had during his speech. “You can speak now.”

Kenma didn’t want to speak. He wanted to cry. No he was crying. He moved up a little to see the wet spots on his jeans. He looked up at the cross above the altar, remembering how Jesus was abandoned by his disciples, his friends. He remembered the beloved apostle John, whom Jesus loved. A smile appeared on his face as he looked at Kuroo with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Kuroo, do you love me?”

“You know I love you, Kenma. I just told you.”

“Then stay by my side. Do you love me, Kuroo?”

“Yes, Kenma. I told you, you asked me a second ago. Don’t be weird.”

“Then be my friend. Do you love me, Kuroo?”

“Kenma, that’s the third time you idiot. Yes!”

“Then let me apologise.” He moved and got on his knees. He bowed deeply until his forehead brushed the ground. He could hear Kuroo protest, but he didn’t care. At this point he felt like Kuroo deserved a proper apology. “Kuroo,” he said, “I’m sorry for being a lousy friend.” He got up and looked Kuroo, who was wearing a nervous smile, in the eyes. He spread his arms and felt his face turn red. “You. You can hug if you want.”

Suddenly he was flung back by the weight of his friend. He thought he’d hid the wood of the pews, but found Kuroo’s hand blocking the blow. He flung his arms around him and felt Kuroo do the same. He had missed this, even if Kuroo might feel about this another way. He liked being close to Kuroo and would never let anything ruin their friendship once again. 

Kuroo whispered in his ear. “Kenma? What is the prayer you say when you’re grateful for someting?” Kenma pulled Kuroo closer as he began to whisper the latin words in his ear. It was the most earnest prayer he had said in a while, because he was, truly, grateful.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end. Kenma and Sugawara are ordained.

Daichi stared out the window, his hands tying his tie as they had done a thousand times. A black lexus drove on his driveway and flashed it’s lights. Daichi sighed, and exited his house, making sure the door was locked before he made his way to the expensive car. He opened the door and settled himself in the passenger’s seat. “You’re late.” He complained.

“Shut up. I just got back from France and I was negotiating with their embassy until two minutes ago. Literally two minutes ago. I barely had any sleep. They don’t care that it’s 3 in the morning here. They just don’t.” Kuroo swiftly manoeuvred the car through the streets. 

Daichi laughed. “Glad I’m not a diplomat.” He grabbed the door handle and fingered it gently. A soft smile adorned his face. “Can you believe we actually got these jobs? That we actually graduated from college, out it the world and all. Mister ambassador? I expected them to graduate before we did.”

Kuroo smiled. “You’re awfully ill-informed, as always. Seminary is six solid years, at least.” He entered the church’s parking lot and pointed toward a small green car. “You see that? My greatest accomplishment.” 

“His mom?”

“His mom.” His lips curled as he parked his car next tot hers. The two men got out and entered the grand cathedral. Soft murmur echoed in the large room and their conversation fell silent. They snuck in a pew. As if it had been waiting for their arrival the organ began to live. The sound made all the whispers disappear, it looked as if it changed the whole cathedral into a heavenly play.

A large procession of men in white made it’s way towards the altar. A man with long flowing blond hair was the last in line. Flanked by a silver haired man. With smooth strides they flowed to the front of the church. Daichi could see the content smiles on their faces. A painful smile on his own.  
The ritual continued and Daichi found solace in Kuroo. They held each others hand. He could feel Kuroo squeezing it as Kenma knelt down in front of a man and pledged his loyalty to him. Kuroo could not help himself from doing the same when his Suga pledged his heart to the man. He felt a lump in his throat, tears well up. He fought the urge to cry, but gave in when Kuroo’s hand rubbed his back. He smiled, forcing his tears to be tears of joy.

The ritual paid no heed to Daichi’s grieving. Instead it continued and an impressive number of robed men touched the heads of the new priests. Daichi thought it would take forever, but at last the men processed their way out of the church. The visitors were directed to a nearby building. Daichi grabbed a coffee, Kuroo a tea. 

“So thanks for working with me for the presents. Did you receive them in time?” Kuroo asked after he took a sip from his tea.

Daichi nodded. “I gave them to one of the priest in the seminary, he’d make sure they’d get them at the right time.”

Kuroo smiled. “I can’t wait to see it. You know the French make the best, right?”

Daichi shrugged when two large doors swung open. Their priests walked in, clothed in long black cassocks. Perfectly tailored to suit their bodies. They truly looked stunning, Daichi thought. He smirked as he looked at Kuroo. “The French do make the best.”

Kuroo waved and the two made their way towards them. Shaking hands along and accepting congratulations along the way. Kenma flung his arms around Kuroo, exclaiming how he missed him and how he hated the fact that Kuroo was abroad for months at a time. Daichi and Suga looked entertained. The ever so silent Kenma bristling with energy, talking Kuroo’s ears of. Kuroo didn’t seem to mind.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Daichi asked Suga.

Suga smiled. “First things first. Thanks for the cassock. It looks awesome. Where did you get it? How did you get my sizes?” 

“It does look good on you,” Daichi commented, “on Kenma as well. Kuroo had them made in France. The French make the best, or so I’m told. And as for your sizes…” He stepped closer and cupped Suga’s neck, bringing his mouth centimetres away from his ear. “Are you sure you want to know?” He whispered with a smile so broad he was sure Suga could hear it.

Suga blushed. Maybe he didn’t want to know after all, he told him. They both laughed, but suddenly Suga’s face turned serious. “Are you okay?” He asked. Daichi ran a finger past his cheekbone, pondering the question. At last he answered. “I’m going to be fine. Just give me some time. I’m really happy for you.”

Suga smiled. “You know I can’t kiss you, but I can give you something else. Please get on your knees.”

Daichi gave him a confused look, but complied anyway. He looked up at Kuroo when he heard Kenma command Kuroo to kneel beside him. Kuroo complied as well, not looking nearly as confused as Daichi. Daichi looked as kuroo knelt beside him, lowered his head and closed his eyes. He imitated the motions and felt Suga’s hands run through his hair. The room, full of chatter a moment before, turned completely silent. He could hear Suga and Kenma whisper some latin words and the hands on his head disappeared. 

“You can open your eyes now.” Suga said gently. “You can get up.” 

Daichi got back on his feet. “What was that all about?”

“You were my first, Daichi. I gave you my first blessing. It’s a thing.” He hugged him and whispered in his ear. “Thanks, Daichi. Thank you for everything.”


End file.
